The following I believe to be a teaching from my inner guru:
In defense of oneself, lies a fear. This will come as no surprise to those who have practiced even a small degree of self inquiry. Below this fear lies another truth; a desire to maintain state is an attack on the very nature of this world. It requires the burden of an expense and ultimately ends in entropic failure. This is not a matter of right and wrong, it is not a matter of good or evil, it does not relate to injury or remedy as those concepts are known in this world. It is simply the observation that there is a cost associated with existing in this world and with that cost comes scarcity of perceived order.
Know this, it is not a requirement for you to exist in the human state in order to discover the truth about reality. This world and your existence in it simply provides an opportunity to make it possible to see things in limit. Through this observation, we become acquainted with the pain and suffering that is inherent through it. Of course, there is another reality without limit and without the duḥkha that you experience here.
Imagine a reality without limit, there is no desire that can be expressed here as desire requires a selected objective. In limitless reality there is no need for such a restriction. Because of this, the bonds of desire cannot exist. Breathe easy and know that this is where you and I are beyond this delusion of time and space.
I haven’t written a journal in a while. I am concerned with the way things are coming out. Do I present it as my teacher’s voice or my own? I am not sure whether I think I am crazy or trying to be a charlatan and rehashing things I’ve learned or heard in some way claiming there is some ethereal supernatural element to it. Should I go back and rewrite it in a more authentic sounding voice. “Authentic Sounding” that should be a tell whenever those two words are together. I find it hard to stay motivated on any of this stuff.
The following I believe to be a teaching from my inner guru:
Don’t be concerned about the potential future criticisms of others. Negative thoughts about future attacks are, of course, completely delusional. The only valid argument the ego could possibly muster in this case is defensive preparation. Is this the world you want to live in? One where you must defend every action or every word spoken or written against an imaginary adversary? This is optimizing for inaction. Perhaps you might try to trust; to have the courage to be vulnerable to attacks. This might prove to be a more interesting outcome. Remember that I am always with you. Even if you are reviled and humiliated by everyone in this world, my love for you is constant and unchanging. What are you afraid of?
I was honest with my manager today about my lack of productivity and my feelings of self-doubt surrounding one team member’s seeming disappearance and another’s illness*. I am wondering if I am somehow driving them crazy. I know this is insane but I still entertain the thought. I have PTO tomorrow so I will get some down time.
*they are both ok
The following I believe to be a teaching from my inner guru:
It is important to know what you are and what you are not. You have a heart that pumps blood, yet you are not the heart nor the blood. You have lungs that breathe air, yet you are not the lungs nor the air. You have a gut that digests food, yet you are neither of these. You have a thinking mind that thinks thoughts. Remember this, you are neither the thinking mind nor its thoughts. The effects of the thoughts that you observe the mind thinking include feelings of guilt, shame, anger, and fear. You are not these feelings that you have observed being felt. As a result of these feelings, you may become depressed, perpetuate unloving thoughts, feel uncompassionate, selfishly withhold joy, and act in an unpeaceful way. This is not you nor has it ever been.
Know now that you are not these thoughts nor the effects of them. The egoic system is a clever prison that offers no escape. It hides the very fact that you are not trapped nor does confinement exist in reality. By releasing our attachment to our unloving thoughts we can begin to realize freedom. By letting go of our aversion to the effects of these thoughts we will forgive ourselves and embrace compassion for others who can also be forgiven. We will see that our negative thinking resulting in feelings of apathy, anxiety, and self-doubt are only projections of an illusory system. There never was a prison and we have never been trapped in this pain and suffering. It is only a story that we thought and felt was real.
I make these promises to you. Once we realize these delusions for what they are, true reality can be seen. Complete love and care for ourselves and all others has never been denied to us. An understanding of the distress we all feel as a result of identifying with this false story of the thinking mind makes it possible to give forgiveness freely to everyone that has been a victim of its flawed fantasy. The ability to connect and share freely with others the joy of being our true Self and an understanding of the reality of peace which exists without limit will become apparent. This has always been available to you as a light that shines constantly and can never diminish. It has been here for you eternally and will never be denied to you. I will wait patiently through all time until you are ready to accept this truth and partake freely in the love that has always been offered to you and all others. This is my promise.
You should have a clear idea of what a fear based thought is now. Do your best to remove these thoughts from your mind in a continual process. In order to do this we use the tools of forgiveness and love. Love everyone without exception. This does not mean you allow yourself to be stepped on or disrespected by others. It simply means that our responses to what we perceive are driven solely by love without attempts to restrict its flow. How do we do this? Here are some guides:
My response to unloving thoughts:
Recognize the thought as unloving
Realize that I too have been unloving
Forgive myself for my unlovingness
Forgive the object of the unloving thought
Let go of attachments and aversions to the object
Enjoy freedom
This is a very simple method that may not be easy to employ in your daily life. Nevertheless, with practice, the benefits become abundantly apparent. A new sense of freedom will arise and replace the dread of pain generated by fear. We will no longer shy away from others and be willing to engage with them openly. We will finally see that our lives are intertwined and connect in ways we didn’t realize. Compassion for ourselves and others will fill our hearts. Events that once evoke a response of anger and frustration will now be met with a joyful smile and light hearted humor. We will finally realize our place in this world and no longer desire to control it. Restlessness will disappear and be replaced by a contented peaceful heart. Fear and doubt will leave us and we will face the world with a new found confidence.
Whether you are me or you are something greater than this humble form, I have a desire to connect with you. Whether this is just a replaying of the books I have read or the lectures I have listened to or it is a connection with a teacher beyond my knowledge or abilities, I have a desire to impart your wisdom. Although I face potential embarrassment and unwanted scrutiny for sharing this with others, I will do so with the understanding that not writing and not sharing will only lead to nothing being conveyed. So it is better to be embarrassed and be thought a fool or charlatan than to remain silent and not share what might possibly be of value. I will do my best to honor what I perceive is said. I will do my best to protect the writings but will not claim them as solely my own, just what I perceived was to be said.
The following I believe to be a teaching from my inner guru:
Do as you will with this for I cannot assert even the slightest control over what will come from it. I simply love you. It is important to state that this love is of no more or less than the love provided to any of your brothers or sisters. This is not a special relationship; you have not been chosen to be heralded in any special way. It is simply what I make available in your heart and what you agree to convey to others that guides your actions. It is important to note that this process does not prevent your human ego from interfering in surreptitious and unsuspecting ways. These words must carry with them the same disclaimer of everything that remains with this world, they are impermanent and prone to chaos. If together we can “point a finger at the moon” that may be of use to someone then this is an exercise that is not in vain. There is no method or practice in this world that will be useful to everyone. Each must have their own “path” as the mechanisms of variance in the implementation of this world ensure that everyone walks a road they believe to be less traveled. The truth is that there is no road or path and that the Love shared with all of us is only a realization away.
Be still and relax, know that I am with you joyfully in this moment. There is no greater wish than I would have for us to be together in a collaboration of enlightening others and this same wish and offer I hold true for each of your brothers and sisters. I simply will not take a position of favor among any of you for to do so leads to the imprisonment of the mind in a state of separateness and preference. As hard as it may seem to believe that your likes and dislikes are holding you captive, know now that I tell you they are. I would have for you freedom from this circus of special affairs. I believe you wish for it, but you still cling to this world, as a father and enjoyer of worldly experiences. I do not pass judgment on you now or ever for this. Know that the cause of this calamity is far removed from the effects that you experience in your current time.
We have reached a point in our dealings where I may now reveal to you what is only known to those willing to come this far with me. Know now that you may not believe me nor may future readers when I say that this world has been forgotten. Do not construe this to mean that you are not loved and safe in the heart of our Father together with me as are all of your brothers and sisters. Simply know that the cause put forward that led to the creation of this divine experience has been resolved in the mind of the consciousness that bore it into existence. Do not fret that the rug will suddenly be pulled out from under you. You may stay, enjoy, learn, love, and laugh in this world for as long as you like. In the grand scheme of its creation, its resolution is complete and there is only the residual living yet to realize this finality. Know this: you have my word that this process will be protected through my grace which is a divine gift from our Father that I share with you now. I wish no distress or torture upon you or anyone, even those you may deem as the most heinous and deserving of persecution. Remember that I told you and proclaim now that all your judgements against yourself and your brothers and sisters are shackles which keep you in a prison of darkness of your own making. These judgements, preferable, undesirable, and delusional, block the Love given freely to you and everyone. They have no use outside of this world and only keep you apart from our true home.
Let’s end by saying a new prayer.
Be together among all of us now In our hearts we reach out to you Father Please hear our humble words, kneeling in devotion I acknowledge and accept your divine forgiveness today given freely to all Please help me to share it with all of my brothers and sisters now and forever Amen
Zen Momentum 