It can be difficult for us to forgive, especially when we feel justified in our condemnation of others. We live in a world where the human ego can set in motion a disastrous sequence of events. A series of unskillful actions can lead many astray while others cheer on their debauchery encouraging them to go even farther. The end is always tragic and causes pain and suffering for the innocent. We tend to dehumanize the perpetrators the same way we perceive they have dehumanized their victims. Now they become the object of our attacks and the cycle continues.
Finally, when justice is served, those involved may take great pride in participating in the process and the punishment. Some who see themselves as the deliverers of decency may even delight in not forgiving nor forgetting. Yet when the convict is sentenced we are left with a dull sense of dissatisfaction, it never seems to be enough even when the penalty is death. It is not uncommon for adoration and celebrity to be showered upon those who work to see the culprits punished, further exacerbating the rollercoaster ride that provides heights of egoic pride and lows of internal strife as we brace for future revenge. We find ourselves imprisoned by our own retaliations as our minds devise a blame game that always finds others guilty for our internal misery.
In our hearts remains a tension, a feeling of unease as though another attack will soon come. Many times we believe that this is our lot in life; to constantly be “A warrior for good” fending off each imagined assault as they continue to pervade our fictional views of the future. We struggle to realize at the very core of our tension and discomfort is our belief in the battle of “good over evil”; “good guys versus bad guys”; “the moral struggle against the immoral”. We live in this trap believing it is normal, each of us fighting for what we believe is right. However, what we hold as forthright and just is different for everyone. Upon investigation we will always find points on which we disagree. Herein lies the lock that keeps us in this prison of our own making, it is the fantasy that there is evil in the hearts of ourselves and others which we must constantly battle but none of us completely agree upon. How can we free ourselves from this insanity?
The truth is simple, it is not evil that causes us to do monstrous things, it is simply ignorance and the unskillfulness that springs from the ego’s desires. When we attack perpetrators in the name of justice, we perpetuate a system of separation which results in the hardening of our own hearts. We come to realize a false reality in which the battle of the virtuous is never ending. We often revel in locking offenders in prisons designed to be tortuous and terrifying, hoping they are beaten or raped by others who share their same fate. Years later we may set them free to be among our loved ones again even more damaged and broken then when they began their sentence. How does this make our world safer? It is no wonder why we remain discontent and anxious in our hearts waiting for the other shoe to drop from the counterattacks we believed would save us. We arm ourselves with weapons that kill and injure our loved ones more often from our own mistakes and anger then protect us from the “evildoers” we imagine will exact their revenge on us. Each moment we spend lost in these hellish fantasies we steal only from ourselves.
There is another way, by understanding the ignorance and unskillfulness of others, we can learn to love and forgive in our hearts even the most hideous deeds. We can become proficient in responding in a way that deescalates the cycle of attack and creates a safer world for our loved ones and ourselves. This does not mean the end of justice, it simply means justice administered from love as opposed to retribution. Yes, we still need protection from dangerous individuals and they may need to be placed in an environment that provides a better degree of safety for others and themselves, one in which they can learn, heal, and make amends. It is also true that a responder or soldier may need to use deadly force for those that pose an immediate mortal threat to others, nevertheless, even this can be done with love and understanding. Prejudice and anger are not required for ending the life of a violently insane individual, this must always be a last resort.
Learning to forgive is not always an easy task, for many, this requires a profound change of mind. If we are willing, we can start with forgiving ourselves for our own unforgiving natures. This offers us a priceless gift, it is liberation from the unease and dissatisfaction we have condemned ourselves to in this world. When we love and forgive, we can live our lives free from the worry and fear of the next attack. Happiness becomes genuine and is no longer a false mask we wear for others. Even if our lives are cut short by an assailant, we will have increased our own joy and the joy of others tenfold.
Zen Momentum 